The Other Boleyn Girl (2008)

Read the book or see the mini series, but skip this.
Have you ever noticed how Cliff Notes generally do a fair job telling the plot of a story and a poor one handling the characters. Then in the case of character driven pieces they do an even poorer job.

Well watching this movie felt like the director sent an assistant to read the Cliff notes, then got the assistant drunk and then based the story on what the assistant told him

Henry the VIII is not exactly praised in the book, but he's not a rapist.

But Henry is not the only character mutilated in such a fashion. The books rich tapestry of feelings and sublety is shredded in a way that cannot simply be blamed on the change of format from book to movie.

Almost every role is dreadfully miscast, especially William Stafford, who in any responsible adaptation should have been a man of clear ability, not doe-eyed innocence. The all important son is basically ignored and that's just the beginning.

I don't know how the author is responding to this "version" of her work, but as a reader I went in to see a screen version of the Other Boleyn Girl and over two hours later I was still waiting. (Yes, that was a paraphrase of a review of Our Town, but unlike it's original use, this time the work deserves it.)

The Other Anne Boleyn movie
This movie is terrible. The soundtrack music and the ending are the better parts of this farce. The same dialogue spoken in "Henry VIII" (starring Ray Winstone as Henry VIII) by Helena Bonham Carter's portrayal of Anne Boleyn was also used by Natalie. Helen is by far the BETTER actress. As a matter of fact, other british actress that played Anne Boleyn in the past are better so there is no comparison. Natalie makes this Anne Boleyn so weak and bitchy and a crybabay that is not funny to watch. She has made a fool of herself by acting in this film. Just because she is Academy Award nominated actress does it now mean that she gets top billing and thinks that she can pull off a british role? HA! Gwyneth Paltrow and Rene Zellweger can do that, but not Natalie.

Ye Olde Floppe
"The Other Boleyn Girl" charts the story of the fortunes of Mary Boleyn (Johansson) - Anne's (Portman) less famous younger sister - in her earlier bid for the affections of King Henry VIII (Bana). It also covers the major points of Anne's relationship with the avaricious monarch, as he divorces himself both from his barren-yet-faithful wife Katherine of Aragon (Ana Torent), and the Roman Catholic Church.

Good points first: the cinematography and production design in "The Other Boleyn Girl" are stupendous. There's a real sense of reserve and quietly simmering passion in the hazy lighting and dream-like camerawork, and the sets and costumes are duly lush and incredibly detailed. Visually, Scarlett Johansson is a great choice to play the innocent, buxom Mary Boleyn, and there are several moments where "The Other Boleyn Girl" looks like a moving painting, reminiscent of Vermeer or Holbein.

Unfortunately, almost every other element of "The Other Boleyn Girl" is below-par, not least of which is a truly awful script. It's a kind of mishmash of faux-Tudor dialogue peppered with contemporary phrases so the audience can follow the story - but sadly, it's overdone and cheesy. And the movie's truncated running time means that major events of the film - such as Henry's discarding Mary for Anne or his divorce from Katherine of Aragon (a major event in European history) - are given the briefest of scenes depicting them, before the too-thin script takes off to cover yet more ground. There's no real sense of drama or danger anywhere in the movie.

And it's because of this poor scripting that Eric Bana doesn't get much to do: I'm still not sure that he was in love with either Mary or Anne Boleyn, such is Bana's one-dimensional and expressionless reading of one of History's most vibrant kings. Portman as Anne is alright, but she doesn't really capture the intensity or the ambition of this most forward-thinking of women in history - nor does she touch on the dangers of Anne's situation when her marriage to Henry begins to fail. And Scarlett Johansson comes off as a bored simpleton. Other cast notables include Kristin Scott-Thomas as the Boleyn Matriarch (yawn, she's not around for much of the movie), Mark Rylance as Daddy Boleyn (with one expression of less-than-fatherly concern slapped to his face for all of his scenes, this guy gets really boring really quickly) and David Morrissey as their uncle, the Duke of Norfolk (high camp in Tudor tights: this guy's been nominated for two consecutive Razzies - I'm not surprised, and he's not good).

All-in-all "The Other Boleyn Girl" is a one-dimensional romp through some dull acting and poor writing, saved from one-star hell by its beautiful appearance. You'd be better off with a few episodes of season 2 of "The Tudors" - high-camp soap opera that doesn't try to be anything else. "The Other Boleyn Girl", sadly, is too high-falootin' to really recognise its own limitations, and it's in this pretension that the audience, once again, loses out.

Not recommended.

PS: For fans of the book: avoid this one. The book is one of my favourite novels, I've read it many times, and this movie by itself is bad enough - when compared to the book that spawned it, it's just plain rubbish.