Drillbit Taylor (2008)

Drillbit Taylor Movie Review
Drillbit Taylor makes quite an accomplishment in that it is a PG-13-rated film that has the feel of last year's R-rated Superbad. Most of the vulgarity that made Apatow's previous venture inappropriately hilarious has absconded to unknown horizons, and Drillbit is left with utilizing more crafty means at achieving laughs. Not necessarily more intelligent, but certainly less crude, the similarly hilarious lead characters all find their perfect places in this consistently amusing comedy.

Three kids experience bullying at school by antagonizer Filkins, an emancipated student who revels in terrorizing smaller kids. On their first day at high school, Wade (Nate Hartley as the Harry-Potter-like scrawny kid), Ryan (Troy Gentile as the overweight kid with the never-ending ranting) and Emmit (David Dorfman as the kid-who-gets-shoved-in-a-locker) can't seem to evade constant humiliation at the hands of nemesis Filkins. Only able to take so much, the three decide to hire a bodyguard to defend them. In a riotous job-interview montage, the trio chooses Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson), an ex-black-ops and improvised weapons expert, who teaches them to stick up for themselves. During the process, Drillbit gets sidetracked with aggressive teacher Lisa (Leslie Mann) and the truth that he is nothing more than a homeless bum who yearns for the good life in Canada.

Drillbit Taylor, like Superbad, derives much of its humorous moments by forcing many continual little laughs. Quick jokes follow rapid slapstick to allow the audience to pick and choose what tickles their funny-bones. When some gags don't work, instant new ribs replace them so that no one can sit still for long. But most unique is the idea that the majority of the humor does not rely on crudeness, but the friendlier grounds of physical comedy (undergoing torment by bullies) and unexpectedly nonsensical dialogue (the love chatter between Drillbit and Lisa).

Again this comedy falls into the same storyline quicksand that plagues most recent comedies, which is allowing the conflict to become too serious. No one doubts the fact that the plot is absolutely ridiculous and that most of the concepts are exaggerated to the point of absurdity, but within this fantasy world of nerds and bullies, some things we hope to remain realistic. Things like vengeance against the bullies, getting the girls, and staying out of serious harm's way. These concepts are approached with little justice to realism, and so results in a conclusion that can only be as unlikely as the samurai-sword-wielding antagonist. That's not to say that any of it was intended to be faithful to the stereotypical perception of high school life, but most of it appears that way from the get-go.

"As long as you have a coffee cup in your hand, nobody says nothing," explains Drillbit, on his ease at infiltrating the school as a substitute teacher. And so as long as the humor remains appealingly gut-busting, no one questions the reasoning behind much of the juvenile antics. Where Superbad focused on nonstop sexual and gross-out humor, Drillbit stays refreshingly clean with its parody of the cool kids and the un-cool kids frequenting a typical high school. And (comedic) revenge against persecution is one of the most universally inviting themes to watch.

- Mike Massie

I actually found this more of a hoot than The Benchwarmers.
When I first heard the trailer for "Drillbit Taylor," I thought it was going to be one of the dummest comedies I had seen all this year. There was too much ridiculous teen stuff that just didn't appeal to my attention. Even the reviews said it wasn't good. But I asked a friend if he wanted to see a movie with me and he chose this, probably because I asked him. I then said to myself "OK, maybe this may not be that bad after all."

And you know what, it was actually pretty funny. It's surprisingly much better than "The Benchwarmers," only it's in that same type of league of a comedy, only it deals with bullies. There are bullies in my school who I don't like, and then there are kids who are not bullies, just troubled people. But experiencing the bully system, I wish "Drillbit Taylor" was real.

"Drillbit Taylor" tells the story of three boys who get into a hazard with a bunch of bullies. It's their first day experiencing high school and things aren't going that well as they wished it was planned. These three nerds want to be cool-looking kids, but they just have trouble dealing with bullies.

They hired a homeless bum (played by Owen Wilson) to be their body guard. Although Wilson's character is a huge phony, he makes the idea that being homeless is actually not a poor thing, especially in taking a job as substitute teacher. But as things with Drillbit Taylor's friends go horribly wrong and these felines become foes, the three boys need to find a way to solve their conflict.

"Drillbit Taylor" is SOMEWHAT like "Superbad" only in the PG-13 rated form. There is bullies, and there's a lot to handle. And yes, the pun is intended. It's actually some hoot - if you know what I'm saying. But for a comedy like "Drillbit Taylor," there's no sex, but there's some romance. And I bet you can get a lot in there.

Owen Wilson is actually a pretty funny actor. I never minded him as an actor, because his movies are so good for all of us to watch. We got him in movies like "Meet the Parents," failures like "I-Spy" and fun ones like his voice acting in "Cars." And "Drillbit Taylor" is one of his funny movies out there.

There can be many things about this movie that can make it a bit much better than "The Benchwarmers." But the one thing is that it doesn't actually make enough annoying references to pop culture. Although, the Star Wars jokes in "The Benchwarmers" were actually funny, but "Drillbit Taylor" actually has at least clean jokes, no fart jokes, nice jokes and funny jokes for the teens as well. No curse words, at least.

Let me just say that I had a fun time laughing through most of the scenes in "Drillbit Taylor." It's not really a knock-out, but it's still a lot of fun for the teenagers to enjoy.

To Protect and Swindle
Movies like "Drillbit Taylor" really make me mad; they feature teenage characters that are absolutely nothing like real teenagers, and they tell stories that are far too serious for light-hearted comedies. They're not relatable and they're not funny, certainly not to anyone who can actually remember being a teenager. I understand that "Drillbit Taylor" wants to be a farce, but it completely fails because it spoofs a teenage world that was already a spoof to begin with. In other words, this movie makes fun of a life that doesn't exist. It doesn't help that the story is just plain ridiculous, amounting to nothing more than an excuse for teens to be foul-mouthed and violent. If you actually find that sophomoric sense of humor funny, then feel free to stop reading this in favor of someone else's positive review.

The film begins with two friends talking on the phone the night before the first day of high school--the tall and lanky Wade (Nate Hartley) and the short and fat Ryan (Troy Gentile), who likes rap and prefers the nickname T Dog. When the big day comes, absolutely nothing goes right: not only do they unintentionally wear the same shirt, Wade also intervenes on behalf of an uncool nerd named Jim (Ian Roberts), who's being tortured by the school bully, Filkins (Alex Cross). Now with both a powerful enemy and an unwanted friend, Wade and Ryan endure hell for the first week of school, from getting locked in the trophy display to being forced to share the same shirt at the same time. What's worse is that absolutely no one offers to help them. Considering the number of students who witness this abuse happening in broad daylight, it's disgusting that not a single one would say something to someone.

When the bullied boys reach their breaking point, they place an online want ad for a bodyguard. After screening a number of possible candidates, they meet Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson), who impresses them so much that they immediately hire him. Forget about the fact that he looks, sounds, and behaves nothing like an authentic bodyguard, and let's just focus on his back-story for a minute--he's a homeless AWOL military officer who sees the boys' situation as a way to make money. Under the guise of being their bodyguard, he plans to rob them blind and use their money to run away to Canada. A loser conning adults is one thing, but a loser conning teens is just plain wrong; even if that does happen in real life--and I'm sure it does--it's not something that a movie should make light of.

In realizing he can't immediately take the money and run, Taylor wings his way through a makeshift training program, which is so pathetic it's a wonder they didn't catch onto his scheme sooner. The time eventually comes for Taylor to pose as one of the school's teachers, and amazingly, the staff accepts him on the spot. This is especially true of the English teacher, Lisa (Leslie Mann), who lusts after Taylor pretty much the instant she meets him in the teacher's lounge. Why she feels this way, I have no idea; she says she has a self-destructive tendency to gravitate towards losers and bums, but even then, it's hard to imagine why she acts the way she does. I was actually scared of this woman--she jumps onto Taylor and has sex with him so frequently that she seemed more like a stalker instead of a lover.

Eventually comes the climactic moment when Wade challenges Filkins to a fight. Without Taylor's help (for reasons I won't reveal), Wade and Ryan train each other how to take physical pain, and of course, it ends with both boys cupping their genitals in agony. At the very least, that scene was just being goofy, meaning it was a little funny. The same can't be said for the final fight between them and Filkins. This isn't a case of three boys engaging in a comedic fistfight; two minors and a psychotic eighteen-year-old are violent at a level you wouldn't even see on YouTube. They use telephones and lamps to bash each other over the head. They kick each other into furniture and handrails. Even a samurai sword gets involved, resulting in someone losing a finger.

What part of this sounds entertaining? What part of this sounds funny? To anyone who feels that I'm being overly harsh and just need to lighten up, let me reassure you that even I like to laugh from time to time. Actually, I love to laugh, pretty much like everyone else. But good grief, the line has to be drawn somewhere; teen comedies in and of themselves are fine, but if you see the humor in placing a severed finger in a cocktail to keep it sterile, I'm afraid you've lost me. "Drillbit Taylor" is like an arrogant comedian, thinking it's much funnier than it actually is, sinking down low in a desperate attempt for a laugh. Its portrayal of teens is sad, not only because it's so over the top, but also because, even if these characters existed, no one would ever want to be like them, anyway. But the title character is the worst of all--a man that uses young boys for financial gain is the stuff of drama, not comedy. If you disagree with that or with anything else I've said, why did bother reading the entire review?