Baby Geniuses (1999)

Babies out of Control!!!
Kathleen Turner, star of Romancing the Stone (1986), Body Heat (1981), is the star of Baby Geniuses and plays the same character as she did in Body Heat...as a sexy seductress with her own evil lust and plans for meanness in a PG kind of way. One thing, little babies is what this movie is geared towards. Not kids, not adults, babies.

Christopher Lloyd is there, and it doesn't help the pain. Basically, all babies are geniuses, and Kathleen Turner is the antagonist. I didn't buy this movie, but, afterwards, I had to, because it is soooo stupid. If you are feeling the need to laugh at something, this too, is a movie for you.

A unrelenting snoooooooze fest.
If you ever wondered what a look who's taking meets james bond movie would be like shame on you. It's ideas like that make crappy movies. Don't see this movie it'll be the worst movie you'll ever see. And if you kid keeps on bugging you to watch with them tell them you have a head ache because by the end you will by the stupity of this film.

A very, VERY long distance from "Genius"
In my unending quest to add the next big "trash classic" to my DVD collection, "Baby Geniuses" was highly recommended by many of my fellow schlock-cinema mavens. Sadly, I found nothing "classic" about the flick... but the "trash" part definitely was showing through with each excruciating frame. I found myself overwhelmed with chagrin and disgust at every turn of this low-rent "Home Alone" wannabe. This sad waste of celluloid depicts some of the most UN-witty "witty" dialogue and the most UN-snappy "snaps", insults, rejoinders, and comebacks I've ever forced myself to sit through. And the dialogue between the "babies" (actually, more like young toddlers) ain't no picnic, either! I DID get a kick outta seein' Dom DeLuise get hit in the "forbidden zone" with a monkey wrench, though. I've always felt he needed to have that done to him... in real life... at least once a day. What can I say: I'm a sensitive, empathetic humanitarian type...

Bottom line: I'd have had a better time striking myself in the head with a ball-peen hammer for an hour-and-a-half than I did watching this sad loss of precious quality time. Show this bad-boy to yer young'un only if you want to frighten him/her into never, ever watching kiddie flicks ever again. However, if you're a sick eff who takes sadistic delight in seeing Christopher Lloyd, Kathleen Turner, and Kim Cattrall working some of the worst roles in their spotty acting careers, "Baby Geniuses" might just be what you've been lookin' for..

`Late